yeah. That’s what I’m talking about! Fight! Fight!
Who’s the best mom out there? Who knows how to raise herself some fan-tas-tic spawns?
Well it’s tough to decide because you also have:
OLD SCHOOL MOM:
She parents by the old rules. Spankings, soap in mouth, cigarettes and martini’s by 5pm. You know….. she rolls that freaking pack of baloney and Hostess Ho Ho’s in a lunch box like a gangsta bitch. She’ll check out your old man at the school fundraiser as she hides a rum and coke in a Big Gulp cup. OLD SCHOOL.
HIPSTER MOM:
She parents new *hip* rules. She traded up from a teeny doggy who poo’d for a baby Bugaboo. Shops Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s for the best free trade coffee out there. This baby wears organic cotton grown in organic soil from an organic farmer. And lord help me, the girl was in her skinny jeans before her episiotomy stitches absorbed. Mostly spotted at Farmers markets toting a sisal grocery bag.
GREEN MAMA (with money):
She parents the green way. Not too far off from Hipster mama, but she rolls a Prius or a Subaru and her kids all attend Waldorf schools. Lots of crafting with fibers and eco friendly products fill the house. Typically shops green from third world countries where civil war is underway.
GREEN MAMA (broke):
My personal fav is broke green mama. Grown up Riot Grrrl. Shops co-op in bulk. Kids usually home (un) schooled. Typically a knitter and tends to make her own kefir. Wearing recycled clothing (see above shoes) is high on list, but recycled 100% wool that she felted is primo. She fights for home births, non vax and breast feeding. Her kid’s are typically smart, but tend to rename themselves (see prior Name Change entry). Favorite activity Roller Derby.
Here’s my point. I’m not writing to debate Tiger Moms. Everyone mothers in their own way. If a kid feels secure, is fed, and has some manners you’re doing a great job in my opinion.
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